Etiquette gets a bad rap when it’s misinterpreted as a set of behavioral rules. In reality, there are no real “rules” of etiquette -- breaking them won’t put you in the penalty box or behind bars. Etiquette applies to all social situations, and the bar is no different.
before the bar----------------------
In order to make sure the group is pleased with the bar choice, the host should always give two venue options: the first being the favored choice, while the second serves as a backup.The organizer is also responsible for getting a table, getting the attention of the server and establishing a designated driver. Additionally, if the group is to run a single tab and needs to keep a credit card with the bar staff, the burden of offering up a card lies with the organizer of the trip.Finally, the host should make plans ahead of time to avoid the disaster of a large, single bill met by multiple credit cards and no cash.
Buying rounds
- With regard to buying rounds, etiquette dictates the following:
Discuss this practice before reaching the bar and decide amongst your party whether or not the plan is to pay for drinks by the round. It is poor manners to initiate buying rounds at the bar because it obligates people without their consent, and can put someone in a tight situation if they’re suddenly called upon to buy a round when they don’t want to or can’t afford to. - When buying rounds, it is expected that all the men will drink whatever liquor is bought for that round, but women should be consulted as to whether or not they would like to order something else. Obviously right!! :) else you would end up disappointing and your sweet nothings will not work out :)
Buying her a drink
There is a long-standing misconception that men should -- or are expected to -- pay for a woman’s entire expenses at a bar, from cover charges to appetizers and drinks.
This old tradition has conventional roots: There was a time when women in general were not part of the workforce and had no real income. Well, today they are, and they have their own money.
Granted, when you are at a bar with a woman, you should try to pay for the first drink. However, insisting on paying for a woman can be very poor etiquette; while it may seem like you’re doing a good deed, the act can make women feel uncomfortable as they may wonder if you think you’re “owed” something. Making anybody feel uncomfortable for any reason is the absolute antithesis to etiquette. Most women won’t order something expensive and extravagant, but nowhere in the offer itself is there a price limit
Finally, etiquette expert Peter Post suggests you watch the bartender make her drink so that he or someone else does not slip anything into the drink -- you should do this for her protection and for your own.
Know your limits
People go to bars to have a good time and each person at a bar deserves to have a reasonable expectation that everyone else will not get out of hand. Yet, alcohol clouds judgment and can turn minor situations into volatile ones. The drunker people get, the more often things such as fights and unwanted passes at women occur -- both cases of extremely poor bar etiquette.In short, know and abide by your own limits, and if you’re the host for the evening, you should keep watch on the individuals in your party as well.
The bill
As the evening wears on and the customers thin out, bar staff are typically sent home. Consequently, your waiter / waitress may have dropped off your bill and can’t go home until you’ve paid it. If it’s late, be prompt about paying your bill or closing out your tab.
Closing up
While it’s within the rules of etiquette to be the last patrons and “close the place,” it is rude to stay beyond closing hours. Asking the staff whether or not they mind if you stay is equally rude because they’re likely to give you the answer you want to hear. Etiquette functions such that your good time should never be at the expense of another.
Going home
At the end of the night, the host bears one final responsibility: To see to it that all the women in the party have been seen off safely, whether into cabs or to their cars.
Resources:
Post, Peter. Essential Manners for Men. Collins, 2003.
Bridges, John. How to Be a Gentleman. Thomas Nelson, 2001.
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